Roxbury Township New Jersey School Concerns NJ

On this Website:

Bullying in
Eisenhower
Middle School

Text of NJ Law on
School Bullying

Internet Resources

www.BullyStoppers.com

www.BullyFreeKids.com

www.NJBullying.org
Large set of resources
for NJ Families

An informational website designed to assist parents of students in
the school district of Roxbury Township, New Jersey

An information hub for families of children in the Roxbury Township NJ School system who are being bullied or who utilize Special Education services. We're just getting started as of January 2008. With a unified voice we'll be better able to help our children. We'll address the problems that have become apparent and exert pressure so that our children have the opportunity to learn in a safe setting.

We sincerely appreciate those Roxbury Staff who have helped our children, yet attitudes & conditions still exist that cause needless difficulties for our kids. Some staff seem to regard bullying as normative and don't want to be bothered by an alarmed parent. Some staff seem to regard the accommodations Sp Ed children need as an imposition. All that must change, and the LAW is on our side. This has become a particular issue at Eisenhower Middle School, where our child attends, with the recent upheaval in staff, and the assumption by some staff that kids who are 'different' are going to be subject to verbal harassment in those grades, so why bother trying to fight it. The ongoing Teachers salary dispute has also tended to occupy some teachers, so the fact of students being bullied has lost priority. The outgoing Principal at EMS was one of the few who responded with concern to our warnings about the situation, and now he's left in mid-year. Well, we will not stand by as kids are traumatized.

Our family had been thinking about starting a website like this for months, but that which moved us to act was a recent documentary on PBS Frontline (Jan 22, 2008) which profiled a middle school student who had been taunted by classmates for months, who then ended up committing suicide. School officials said they had no idea the verbal harassment was going on. We've since learned that this horrible scenario has been repeated many times in recent years.

It seems that if you're not a jock, or pretty, don't have an ipod in your ear or use profanity you are a target for verbal bullying. The use of filthy, derogatory expletives is common, not only out of the range of teacher's hearing, but as an undertone whispered in the presence of teachers. We have heard teachers privately tell us that they are shocked and exasperated by all this, but publicly all they'll say is that they can't change the prevailing culture. Well, we're not under any delusion that the staff can change it either, but within the walls of the school a safe atmosphere conducive to learning needs to exist, and for many it doesn't.

Yes, we recognize that some Guidance Counselors do sincerely care, and they've made efforts to help this situation, but they are met with indifference by the majority. The State of New Jersey School Bully Guideline has the potential to be used in a Legal sense against Districts who routinely fail to actually protect students, and just running an anti-bullying assembly once a year doesn't meet the standard. Those assemblies impress only the kids who wouldn't think of bullying, but those who relish their bully role have made it an art form to do so out of the sight and hearing of staff, in the lunchroom, in the halls. They know there will be no real consequences, and typically there are none, even after you've ID'd the bully by name.

While we're keeping our family name off this website, we've told our child's school staff of this site, and told them who we are. If you are a family who has been hurt by bullying in the Roxbury District, e-mail us. We will respect you. You can chose to tell us your name or not. Maybe we can really help our kids by working together.

Oh and by the way, we have nothing to do with the School Board or the just finished BOE Elections. We are concerned Parents who don't want to see some Roxbury kids lost in the shuffle. We think that before we debate Turf fields and the NJEA Union role in contract talks, we should make sure ALL the kids are able to learn in a safe setting. That's NOT happening.
We're just getting started . . .

> Did you know that in the last 3 years,
Roxbury has had 3 different Directors of Special Ed ???

Download the NJ Special Education Rights Code, hosted on our site

OUR STORY

Our child has been mercilessly taunted and called names since we began Eisenhower Middle School. Our child has done absolutely nothing to cause this. It seems that if you're not a jock, or pretty, don't have an ipod in your ear or use profanity you can be a target for verbal bullying. When we went to the staff during early 7th grade we were assured that things would get better, the kids were "just testing each other in a new school". In reality, the verbal bullying has gotten far worse, filthy expletives have repeatedly been used to harass our child, and all the while our increasing complaints were met by statements like "oh, it's just a rite of passage" or "they'll get tired of it eventually". Well, it's worse than ever. Racial taunts have been added by one of the bullies to the toxic mix.

We strongly believe that aspects of our situation have recently been mishandled by some EMS Guidance staff. The "blame the victim, find fault with the victim" route seems to be the path of least resistance, far easier than taking effective action against bullies. We believe a perfunctory snap judgment against our child was made as a result of the facts being misunderstood or twisted, we even found the Superintendent flipping the facts 180 degrees when we urged him to intervene, then when we called his attention to it, he corrected himself, but it was a revealing peek into how our situation had been portrayed within staff meetings. We have it documented. Our child is being victimized a second time but in this instance by the adult staff charged with protecting students during the school day. The last 3 months have seen a pattern of missed opportunities on their part to correct the situation of bullying. That's all we want. We want the bullying to stop. Don't just do it for our kid, think about all the others who will be traumatized in the future if some staff continue to abdicate their responsibility. Perhaps the posting and publicizing of this website will help.

Feb 9 Update: 10 days after reporting the racial taunts to EMS Guidance Dept and District Superintendent,
they have not acknowledged our communication.
Feb 11 Update: Got a response from the Admin, they have "spoken" to the perpetrators. We'll see.
April 8 Update: Some recent student 'acting out', including one incident where the Police were
called, point to continuing bullying behavior in a school that denies having a bullying problem.
April 30 Update: With the Teachers in a work slowdown at the direction of their Union,
a minimalist position is being taken by most, which includes a broken promise to our child.

> SCHOOL BULLYING < > SCHOOL BULLYING < > SCHOOL BULLYING <

State of New Jersey Guidelines on School Bullying (Became NJ State Law on September 1, 2003)
With the increase of violence in schools generally, coupled with the sad fact that many parents allow their children to watch TV, Videos and Movies that feature (and promote) violence, the issue of the "School Bully" takes on a new urgency. When this is coupled with the fact that 'Entertainment' targeted toward teens often contains language that belittles those who don't fit in or 'run with the crowd', the stage is set for Teens getting the idea that their bullying behavior will be overlooked. Many parents have felt that some Roxbury School Teachers and Principals have taken this issue too lightly in past years and only recently are beginning to understand the seriousness of this. The definition of Bullying is not only outright violence, but can also take the form of consistent verbal harassment against a child in school or on the School Bus while away from the eyes of a Teacher. This reality seems to escape some Roxbury school staff and explains why some Roxbury parents drive their kids to and from School, rather than putting them on the bus and having them harassed by constant vulgarities, gutter talk and subtle threats. These start as early as 5th or 6th grade, and intensify in 7th and 8th, as some parents of Eisenhower Middle School students have learned.

Several concerned Roxbury School Guidance Counselors are doing what they can to set up anti-Bullying programs, and we appreciate their efforts. However, some Roxbury School Administrators, Board Members, Teachers and Phys Ed Staff still have not embraced the need to be pro-active about this serious problem, and only "do something" after a child has been traumatized. They pay "lip service" to the anti-bullying programs, while their behavior shows that they actually regard these rules as an annoyance. When you talk to them they mindlessly and insincerely nod their head, then continue to look the other way and do what they've always done. While Roxbury is probably little different than other suburban districts as regards the extent of this problem, the passage in 2003 of a new state-wide law on "Bullying", gives parents objective and measurable standards with which to hold School Administrators accountable. Download the file above which is the NJ State Guideline which took effect in September 2003. It is an Adobe .pdf file. Save to your Computer using the Adobe File Menu.

Jared was a 13 year old Sp Ed student who was bullied in his school, developed depression, then committed suicide. School administrators didn't believe Jared's complaint, or blamed him for his troubles. They are partially guilty of his death by their "business as usual" negligence. Click to read Jared's story and find additional resources
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P.S. The Roxbury School District has a clear choice on how to respond to this website:
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a. Deny there's a problem, instruct the staff on how to respond and have the Attorney advise.
In other words, spin the story & protect yourself instead of protecting the children.

b. Since it's a lot of work to find and stop the bullies, Seek to discredit & find fault with the victim,
even if it means distorting the facts. Blaming the victim is a common thread found in those
bullied students who eventually committed suicide.

c. Do the right thing by starting something really effective to stop the bullying.
Individually call in bullies and have them clearly understand that there will be real consequences if they
use profanity and derogatory names to assault other students.
We suggest Superintendent Mack for the job.
The smart parents of the culprits will thank you, the clueless parents will protest, but just let them know
that the discomfort they're feeling is nothing compared to the pain & humiliation their child
has inflicted on the victim. If they really understand then they might just avoid having
the Roxbury Police come to their door in another 3 years.
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