Info for families in Roxbury Township New Jersey Public Schools

Bullying in
Eisenhower
Middle School

Verbal Bullying in
Roxbury High School

Text of NJ Law on
School Bullying

Special Education in Roxbury Township

NEW:
Alternatives to Public School: Private & Religious Schools serving Roxbury Township

Internet Resources

Roxbury NJ Schools Official Website

www.BullyStoppers.com

www.BullyFreeKids.com

www.NJBullying.org 
Large set of resources
for NJ Families

http://kathynoll.wordpress.com/
"Taking the Bully by the Horns"
Blog, Books, Seminars

www.jodeeblanco.com 
A new book with fantastic insights and strategies re bullying

www.TheCartelMovie.com
Shocking documentary movie by a NJ filmmaker detailing the poor ways NJ Schools are run, and the efforts by the Teachers Union to block needed reform.
(to the Teachers & Admins who monitor this site: Yes, we know you're angry seeing this new link above, and you think our entire site is unfair, but you see, YOU CREATED THIS SITE WITH YOUR NEGLECT, OVER 4 YEARS OF HURT TO OUR FAMILY, YOU WROTE THIS SITE BY NOT DOING THE JOB YOU'RE WELL PAID TO DO)

An informational site for parents of students in the
Public School District of Roxbury Township, New Jersey
who are being bullied or who utilize Special Education services

We are parents of a teenager, we live in Roxbury and we started this website in January 2008 with the goal of a unified voice to help children and exert pressure on School officials to give all Roxbury kids a safe place to learn free from verbal bullying. In early grades we served as PTA Officers and spent many dozens of hours organizing activities, staffing special events and editing yearbooks. We continue to give several hours per month to a long-established non-profit that serves Roxbury exclusively, and over 20 hours a month to a non-profit that serves the Morris County area.

Starting in 6th grade, our child was a frequent target of verbal bullying and we wanted it to stop. In Middle School we battled the Administration over the lax attitude toward the toxic  climate that prevailed within some class groupings. That menacing atmosphere caused some kids to withdraw and link school to painful experiences. During the 2 years that this website has been up we've found that while a dozen Roxbury parents have written to us to relate problems of their children being bullied, only four of those families (to our knowledge) have been willing to confront their Principal over inaction regarding bullying. None have yet taken us up on our offer of a webpage to anonymously tell their story. Many feared 'push-back' and their child being marginalized. During this time, this website has helped several Roxbury families improve their students' situation, it has influenced several teachers to do the right thing, it has angered other teachers, and is monitored by several groups. However, we no longer imagine that we'll bring district-wide change. We were naive to think the District could be embarrassed into action. So, the site will continue to be informative, and we'll continue to update it as warranted as a public service, but over the summer we decided to pull our teen out of Roxbury Public High School, and enrolled in a nearby Academic Parochial High School, as did a number of other families this year. Our student is relieved beyond words, and is doing great. We are well aware that many kids go thru our School District without any real issues, with some doing very well, but there are a significant number who are marginalized, and a few who are traumatized, and all the while most staff carry on with business as usual.

We sincerely appreciate those Roxbury Staff who have helped our children, there truly are some who go the extra mile, our student was helped by their dedication. Yet attitudes & conditions still exist among the majority of staff that cause needless difficulties for our kids. Some staff seem to regard verbal bullying as normative and don't want to be bothered by an alarmed parent. Some staff seem to regard the accommodations Special Education children need as an imposition. All that must change, and the LAW is on our side. This became a particular issue at Eisenhower Middle School, where our child attended, with the upheaval in staff over the years 2006 thru 2008, and the assumption by some staff that kids who are 'different' are going to be subject to verbal harassment in those grades, so why bother trying to fight it. The 18 month Teachers salary dispute also tended to occupy some teachers, so the fact of students being bullied lost priority. The former Principal at EMS was one of the few who responded with concern to our warnings about the situation, and he left in mid-year after having locked horns with entrenched teachers who resisted change. That conflict was publicly displayed and documented in an online bulletin board during 2006-7 as supporters and detractors (some with inside info) of that Principal lobbed insults at each other. Many children suffered as their needs slipped thru the cracks. The unbounded respect for public school teachers that my father had instilled in me was worn away, and it's being further worn away as we see an unwillingness to admit any wrongdoing by entrenched educators who feel they should not be held accountable, and their selfish Union backs them in that unprincipled, contemptible stance. Well, we decided that we would not stand by as kids were traumatized. 

Our family had been thinking about starting a website like this for months, but what moved us to act was a documentary on PBS Frontline (Jan 22, 2008) which profiled a middle school student who had been taunted by classmates for months, who then ended up committing suicide. School officials said they had no idea the verbal harassment was going on. We've since learned that this horrible scenario has been repeated many times in recent years. When kids are bullied and marginalized long-term, with Teachers & Admin not really doing anything * EFFECTIVE * about it, a percentage at that sensitive, vulnerable age commit suicide, a smaller group commit violence.

It seems that if you're not a jock, or popular, don't have an ipod in your ear or use profanity you are a target for verbal bullying.  While it's great that the school has very strong programs in Sports & Music, for kids not involved with either the tendency is for staff to shunt them aside. The use of filthy, derogatory expletives is common, not only out of the range of teacher's hearing, but as an undertone whispered in the presence of teachers. We have had some  teachers privately tell us that they are shocked and exasperated by all this, but publicly all they'll say is that they can't change the prevailing culture. Well, we're not under any delusion that the staff can change it either, but within the walls of the school a safe, positive atmosphere conducive to learning needs to exist, and for many it doesn't. Let's be honest: Roxbury is a School District that worships at the Altar of Sports & Music. If you or your kid is involved there, you're OK with that, but for many others RHS equals 4 years of attempting to survive with the least amount of emotional damage.

Yes, we recognize that some Guidance Counselors do sincerely care, and they've made efforts to help this situation, but they are met with indifference by the majority. The State of New Jersey School Bully Guideline   has the potential to be used in a Legal sense against Districts who routinely fail to actually protect students, and just running an anti-bullying assembly once a year doesn't meet the standard.  Those assemblies impress only the kids who wouldn't think of bullying, but those who relish their bully role have made it an art form to do so out of the sight and hearing of staff, in the lunchroom, in the halls. They know there will be no real consequences, and typically there are none, even after you've ID'd the bully by name, the experience of several families confirm this. Sometimes, the bullies are among the more popular kids at school, or their parents intimidate school officials and the bully receives only a slap on the wrist.

While we've kept our family name off this website, we've told the school staff of this site, and told them who we are. We are concerned parents, we have nothing to do with the School Board or the Board of Education elections. We don't want to see some Roxbury kids lost in the shuffle. We think that before we debate Turf fields, or the Roxbury Education Association - NJEA Union role in contract talks, or Salary Guides, we should make sure ALL the kids are able to learn in a safe setting. That's NOT happening.

> Did you know that in the last 4 years, 
Roxbury has had 3 different Directors of Special Ed ???

Download the NJ Special Education Rights Code, hosted on our site

OUR STORY

Our child was mercilessly taunted and ridiculed from the start of attendance at Eisenhower Middle School (EMS), Fall  2006. Our child did absolutely nothing to cause this. It seems that if you're not a jock, or popular, don't have an ipod in your ear or use profanity you can be a target for ridicule and verbal bullying. When we went to the staff during early 7th grade we were assured that things would get better, the kids were "just testing each other in a new school". In reality, the verbal bullying became far worse, filthy expletives were repeatedly used to harass our child, and all the while our increasing complaints were met by statements like "oh, it's just a rite of passage" or "they'll get tired of it eventually". Well, it got worse as time wore on, and our student was deeply affected. We now understand that staff who tell you "they'll get tired of it eventually" OR "oh, it's just a rite of passage",  are OK'ing the abuse of your child.
Again, THEY ARE SANCTIONING THE ABUSE OF YOUR CHILD !!! 

We strongly believe that aspects of our situation were mishandled by some EMS Guidance staff. One Guidance Counselor horrifically botched the handling of our child's situation. Her "blame the victim, find fault with the victim" route seemed to be the path of least resistance, far easier than taking effective action against bullies. A perfunctory snap judgment against our child was made as a result of her inexperience, along with the facts being misunderstood or twisted. We even found the former Superintendent flipping the facts 180 degrees when we urged him to intervene, then when we called his attention to it, he acknowledged his mistake, but it was a revealing peek into how our situation had been falsely portrayed within staff meetings. We have it documented. Our child was victimized a second time but in this instance by the adult staff charged with protecting students during the school day. While that specific Guidance Counselor is no longer at EMS, having moved on to another School District, we continue to hear of situations in the District that cause us concern. The last 6 months of our time at EMS saw a pattern of missed opportunities on their part to correct the situation of bullying in spite of our vigorous communication with them. That's all we wanted. We wanted the bullying to stop. We wanted veteran PE Teachers to actually monitor the Locker Room instead of just telling you they are. That's called lying, and when it hurts kids, the Teacher should be disciplined or fired for allowing abuse, the Teachers Union be damned!  Don't just do it for our kid, think about all the others who will be traumatized in the future if some staff continue to abdicate their responsibility.

While we think it's great that the school has very strong programs in Sports & Music, for kids not involved with either of those the tendency is for staff to shunt them aside. If the truth dared be said aloud, Roxbury School District worships at the altar of Sports & Music, and little real effort, LITTLE REAL EFFORT is made to promote and staff extra-curricular activities outside these areas.

We initially believed that since the Teachers are the professionals, they know best. The reality we've since learned is that Teachers are just like everyone else, some are good at what they do, and some are not. In private industry failing workers lose their jobs, but in the state-run, Taxpayer supported monopoly we call Public Education poor teachers are protected by their Unions once they get tenure. Most efforts to bring needed Educational Reform are resisted by the Teachers Union.  In these 4 years we went from being strongly pro-Teachers Union to gradually understanding that they are simply a self-serving employee guild, seeking to force their agenda, even when it directly hurts children.

The final illustration of this for us was early during the 2008-09 school year, when our teen repeatedly asked High School Officials, and we pleaded with them to start up some of the non sports & music clubs so that kids like ours would have a club in their interest and not be marginalized. We were told flat out by two Guidance Counselors, without any shame on their part, that the Teacher work slow down at the direction of their Union would keep several clubs from being staffed. They were willing to use the kids as a selfish bargaining ploy to force an almost 5 % pay raise during a time when many Roxbury parents were being laid off from their employment in a recession. This is moral depravity. That was the position of the Roxbury Education Association, the local Teachers Union, part of the New Jersey Education Association - NJEA, who are willing to bully and use coercion to force their agenda. No wonder they think bullying is a normal part of school life.

Previous Updates:

Feb 9, 2008 Update: 10 days after reporting the harassment and taunts to EMS Guidance Dept and District Superintendent, they have not acknowledged our communication.
Feb 11 Update: Got a response from the Admin, they have "spoken" to the perpetrators. We'll see.
April 8 Update: Some recent student 'acting out', including one incident where the Police were
called to EMS, point to continuing bullying behavior in a school that denies having a bullying problem.
April 30, 2008 Update: With the Teachers in a work slowdown at the direction of their Union,
a minimalist position is being taken by most, which includes a broken promise to help our child.
May 30 Update: The new EMS Principal seems to recognize the pervasive problem of bullying in the middle-school years, and is pushing the phrase to the Kids: "Don't be a bystander (when someone is bullied), be an upstander"
September 1, 2008 Update: We'll continue to update this website as a "head's up" for parents whose Kids are entering Middle School, the age at which verbal bullying is at it's worst. The new EMS Principal needs your support, he seems sincere in his desire to recognize and effectively address verbal bullying.  Our child is entering RHS, where we've been told the problem is not as pronounced.  We'll see.

September 29, 2008 Update: Upon seeing a situation in School mishandled by the staff, this thought came to mind:
Imagine asking a reasonable, intelligent educator a theoretical question:
Could a School staff member ever make a mistake in dealing with a student?
 Of course, any fair-minded person would have to say that a mistake could be possible. After all, teachers are only human and sometimes act on misinformation, misunderstanding or bias. Now, add a pronoun and ask:
Have you just made a mistake in dealing with my child?
Of course the answer would be "On no, I've never made a mistake".  Hmm, so just who are making those mistakes??

January 23, 2009 Observation: While we think it's great that the school has very strong programs in Sports & Music, for kids not involved with either the tendency is for staff to shunt them aside. If the truth dared be said aloud, our District worships at the altar of Sports & Music, and little real effort, LITTLE REAL EFFORT is made to promote and staff extra-curricular activities outside these areas.

August 15, 2009 Web Link - Sounds like "Roxbury District West": Here's a nauseating story of how a School District in Washington State not only ignored repeated instances of bullying, but tried to force the student back into a dangerous situation after great harm had come to the teen. While our student doesn't have the disabilities of this individual, the negligent, depraved behavior by School Administrators was chillingly familiar to us. We hope a legal judgment against the District will include personal liability for the Administrators.
Parents sue School District for negligence over Middle School bullying

September 1, 2009 - For the sake of transparency and disclosure, we want to state that we've decided to pull our student out of the Roxbury Public Schools, and to enroll in a nearby Academic Parochial High School. Our teen is overjoyed by this turn of events after having done a sample day at the new school. So, we will be forced to continue to fund, through our taxes, a system that so botched our child's education, and to additionally pay for our child to receive an education apart from the tormentors. Anyone for SCHOOL CHOICE??

> SCHOOL BULLYING <    > SCHOOL BULLYING <   > SCHOOL BULLYING <

State of New Jersey Guidelines on School Bullying  (Became NJ State Law on September 1, 2003)
With the increase of violence in schools generally, coupled with the sad fact that many parents allow their children to watch TV, Videos and Movies that feature (and promote) violence, the issue of the "School Bully" takes on a new urgency. When this is coupled with the fact that 'Entertainment' targeted toward teens often contains language that belittles those who don't fit in or 'run with the crowd', the stage is set for Teens getting the idea that their bullying behavior will be overlooked. Many parents have felt that some Roxbury School Teachers and Principals have taken this issue too lightly in past years and only recently are beginning to understand the seriousness of this. The definition of Bullying is not only outright violence, but can also take the form of consistent verbal harassment against a child in school or on the School Bus while away from the eyes of a Teacher. This reality seems to escape some Roxbury school staff and explains why some Roxbury parents drive their kids to and from School, rather than putting them on the bus and having them harassed by constant vulgarities, gutter talk and subtle threats. These start as early as 5th or 6th grade, and intensify in 7th and 8th, as some parents of Eisenhower Middle School students have learned.

Several concerned Roxbury School Guidance Counselors are doing what they can to set up anti-Bullying programs, and we appreciate their efforts. However, some Roxbury School Administrators, Board Members, Teachers and Phys Ed Staff still have not embraced the need to be pro-active about this serious problem, and only "do something" after a child has been traumatized. They pay "lip service" to the anti-bullying programs, while their behavior shows that they actually regard those rules as an annoyance. When you talk to them they mindlessly and insincerely nod their head, then continue to look the other way and do what they've always done. We saw this in particular among some veteran PE Teachers who just tell you they monitor the Locker Room while in truth kids are actually being harassed. While Roxbury is probably little different than other suburban districts as regards the extent of this problem, the passage in 2003 of a new state-wide law on "Bullying", gives parents  objective and measurable standards with which to hold School Administrators accountable. Download the file above which is the NJ State Guideline which took effect in September 2003.  It is an Adobe .pdf file. Save to your Computer using the Adobe File Menu.

NEW - "Understanding Bullying and Its Impact on Kids With Learning Disabilities"  by Dr. Marlene Snyder, Ph.D.
Kids with learning or attention problems can be easy prey for bullies. An expert tells you how to recognize the signs that your child is being bullied. Bullying among elementary school children and teenagers is a growing problem in many schools in the United States. It's happening in urban, suburban, and rural schools. Kids who have learning disabilities (LD) or Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD) are especially vulnerable to bullying problems.   http://www.greatschools.net/cgi-bin/showarticle/2692 

Jared was a 13 year old Sp Ed student who was bullied in his school, developed depression, then committed suicide. School administrators didn't believe Jared's complaint, or blamed him for his troubles.  They are partially guilty of his death by their "business as usual" negligence.  Click to read Jared's story and find additional resources
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This site serves the New Jersey communities of  Succasunna, Kenvil,  Ledgewood, Landing, Port Morris, Lower Berkshire Valley and Mount Arlington NJ