Roxbury Township New Jersey School Concerns NJ

On this Website:

Internet Resources

www.BullyStoppers.com

www.BullyFreeKids.com

www.NJBullying.org
Large set of resources
for NJ Families

www.jodeeblanco.com
A new book with fantastic insights and strategies re bullying

An informational site for parents of students in the
Public School District of Roxbury Township, New Jersey
who are being bullied or who utilize Special Education services

UPDATED: June 10, 2009

We started this website in January 2008 with the goal of a unified voice to better help our children and exert pressure so that our kids have the opportunity to learn in a safe setting free from verbal bullying. Over these months we've found that while a number of Roxbury parents have written to us to relate problems of their children being bullied, only two of those families (to our knowledge) have been willing to confront their Principal over inaction regarding bullying. None have yet taken us up on our offer of a page to anonymously tell their story. Many feared 'push-back' and their child being marginalized. During this time, this website has had the effect of helping several Roxbury families improve their students' situation, has influenced several teachers to do the right thing, has angered other teachers, and is monitored by several groups. However, we no longer imagine that we'll bring district-wide change. We were naive to think the District could be embarrassed into action. So, the site will continue to be informative, and we'll continue to update it as warranted. We are well aware that many kids go thru our School District without any real issues, with some doing very well, but there are a significant number who are marginalized, and a few who are traumatized, and all the while most staff carry on with business as usual.

We sincerely appreciate those Roxbury Staff who have helped our children, there truly are some who go the extra mile, our student has been helped by their dedication. Yet attitudes & conditions still exist that cause needless difficulties for our kids. Some staff seem to regard verbal bullying as normative and don't want to be bothered by an alarmed parent. Some staff seem to regard the accommodations Sp Ed children need as an imposition. All that must change, and the LAW is on our side. This became a particular issue at Eisenhower Middle School, where our child attended, with the upheaval in staff over the years 2006 thru 2008, and the assumption by some staff that kids who are 'different' are going to be subject to verbal harassment in those grades, so why bother trying to fight it. The 18 month Teachers salary dispute also tended to occupy some teachers, so the fact of students being bullied lost priority. The former Principal at EMS was one of the few who responded with concern to our warnings about the situation, and he left in mid-year after having locked horns with entrenched teachers who resisted change. That conflict was publicly displayed and documented in an online bulletin board during 2006-7 as supporters and detractors (some with inside info) of that Principal lobbed insults at each other. Many children suffered as their needs slipped thru the cracks. The unbounded respect for public school teachers that my father had instilled in me was worn away, and it's being further worn away as we see an unwillingness to admit any wrongdoing by entrenched educators who feel they should not be held accountable, and their Union backs them in that unprincipled, contemptible stance. Well, we decided that we would not stand by as kids were traumatized.

Our family had been thinking about starting a website like this for months, but what moved us to act was a recent documentary on PBS Frontline (Jan 22, 2008) which profiled a middle school student who had been taunted by classmates for months, who then ended up committing suicide. School officials said they had no idea the verbal harassment was going on. We've since learned that this horrible scenario has been repeated many times in recent years.

It seems that if you're not a jock, or popular, don't have an bipod in your ear or use profanity you are a target for verbal bullying. While it's great that the school has very strong programs in Sports & Music, for kids not involved with either the tendency is for staff to shunt them aside. The use of filthy, derogatory expletives is common, not only out of the range of teacher's hearing, but as an undertone whispered in the presence of teachers. We have heard teachers privately tell us that they are shocked and exasperated by all this, but publicly all they'll say is that they can't change the prevailing culture. Well, we're not under any delusion that the staff can change it either, but within the walls of the school a safe, positive atmosphere conducive to learning needs to exist, and for many it doesn't.

Yes, we recognize that some Guidance Counselors do sincerely care, and they've made efforts to help this situation, but they are met with indifference by the majority. The State of New Jersey School Bully Guideline has the potential to be used in a Legal sense against Districts who routinely fail to actually protect students, and just running an anti-bullying assembly once a year doesn't meet the standard. Those assemblies impress only the kids who wouldn't think of bullying, but those who relish their bully role have made it an art form to do so out of the sight and hearing of staff, in the lunchroom, in the halls. They know there will be no real consequences, and typically there are none, even after you've ID'd the bully by name, the experience of several families confirm this.

While we're keeping our family name off this website, we told our student's school staff of this site, and told them who we are. We are concerned parents, we have nothing to do with the School Board or the BOE Elections. We don't want to see some Roxbury kids lost in the shuffle. We think that before we debate Turf fields, or the Roxbury Education Association - NJEA Union role in contract talks, or Salary Guides, we should make sure ALL the kids are able to learn in a safe setting. That's NOT happening.

> Did you know that in the last 3 years,
Roxbury has had 3 different Directors of Special Ed ???

Download the NJ Special Education Rights Code, hosted on our site

OUR STORY

Our child was mercilessly taunted and called names from the start of attendance at Eisenhower Middle School, starting in 2006. Our child did absolutely nothing to cause this. It seems that if you're not a jock, or popular, don't have an ipod in your ear or use profanity you can be a target for verbal bullying. When we went to the staff during early 7th grade we were assured that things would get better, the kids were "just testing each other in a new school". In reality, the verbal bullying became far worse, filthy expletives were repeatedly used to harass our child, and all the while our increasing complaints were met by statements like "oh, it's just a rite of passage" or "they'll get tired of it eventually". Well, it got worse as time wore on, and our student was scarred.

We strongly believe that aspects of our situation were mishandled by some EMS Guidance staff. The one Guidance Counselor who horrifically botched the handling of our child's situation is no longer (Sept 2008) listed as staff on the EMS website. Her "blame the victim, find fault with the victim" route seemed to be the path of least resistance, far easier than taking effective action against bullies. A perfunctory snap judgment against our child was made as a result of the facts being misunderstood or twisted, we even found the former Superintendent flipping the facts 180 degrees when we urged him to intervene, then when we called his attention to it, he corrected himself, but it was a revealing peek into how our situation had been falsely portrayed within staff meetings. We have it documented. Our child was victimized a second time but in this instance by the adult staff charged with protecting students during the school day. The last 6 months of our time at EMS saw a pattern of missed opportunities on their part to correct the situation of bullying. That's all we wanted. We wanted the bullying to stop. We wanted PE Teachers to actually monitor the Locker Room instead of just telling you they are. Don't just do it for our kid, think about all the others who will be traumatized in the future if some staff continue to abdicate their responsibility.

While we think it's great that the school has very strong programs in Sports & Music, for kids not involved with either of those the tendency is for staff to shunt them aside. If the truth dared be said aloud, Roxbury School District worships at the altar of Sports & Music, and little real effort, LITTLE REAL EFFORT is made to promote and staff extra-curricular activities outside these areas.

Previous Updates:

Feb 9, 2008 Update: 10 days after reporting the harassment and taunts to EMS Guidance Dept and District Superintendent, they have not acknowledged our communication.
Feb 11 Update: Got a response from the Admin, they have "spoken" to the perpetrators. We'll see.
April 8 Update: Some recent student 'acting out', including one incident where the Police were
called to EMS, point to continuing bullying behavior in a school that denies having a bullying problem.
April 30 Update: With the Teachers in a work slowdown at the direction of their Union,
a minimalist position is being taken by most, which includes a broken promise to our child.
May 30 Update: The new EMS Principal seems to recognize the pervasive problem of bullying in the middle-school years, and is pushing the phrase to the Kids: "Don't be a bystander (when someone is bullied), be an upstander"
September 1, 2008 Update: We'll continue to update this website as a "head's up" for parents whose Kids are entering Middle School, the age at which verbal bullying is at it's worst. The new EMS Principal needs your support, he seems sincere in his desire to recognize and effectively address verbal bullying. Our child is entering RHS, where we've been told the problem is not as pronounced. We'll see.

September 29, 2008 Update: Upon seeing a situation in School mishandled by the staff, this thought came to mind:
Imagine asking a reasonable, intelligent educator a theoretical question:
Could a High School staff member ever make a mistake in dealing with a student?
Of course, any fair-minded person would have to say that a mistake could be possible. After all, teachers are only human and sometimes act on misinformation or misunderstanding. Now, switch the pronouns and ask:
Have you just made a mistake in dealing with my child?
Of course the answer would be "On no, I've never made a mistake". Hmm, so just who are making those mistakes??

January 23, 2009 Observation: While we think it's great that the school has very strong programs in Sports & Music, for kids not involved with either the tendency is for staff to shunt them aside. If the truth dared be said aloud, the District worships at the altar of Sports & Music, and little real effort, LITTLE REAL EFFORT is made to promote and staff extra-curricular activities outside these areas.

> SCHOOL BULLYING < > SCHOOL BULLYING < > SCHOOL BULLYING <

State of New Jersey Guidelines on School Bullying (Became NJ State Law on September 1, 2003)
With the increase of violence in schools generally, coupled with the sad fact that many parents allow their children to watch TV, Videos and Movies that feature (and promote) violence, the issue of the "School Bully" takes on a new urgency. When this is coupled with the fact that 'Entertainment' targeted toward teens often contains language that belittles those who don't fit in or 'run with the crowd', the stage is set for Teens getting the idea that their bullying behavior will be overlooked. Many parents have felt that some Roxbury School Teachers and Principals have taken this issue too lightly in past years and only recently are beginning to understand the seriousness of this. The definition of Bullying is not only outright violence, but can also take the form of consistent verbal harassment against a child in school or on the School Bus while away from the eyes of a Teacher. This reality seems to escape some Roxbury school staff and explains why some Roxbury parents drive their kids to and from School, rather than putting them on the bus and having them harassed by constant vulgarities, gutter talk and subtle threats. These start as early as 5th or 6th grade, and intensify in 7th and 8th, as some parents of Eisenhower Middle School students have learned.

Several concerned Roxbury School Guidance Counselors are doing what they can to set up anti-Bullying programs, and we appreciate their efforts. However, some Roxbury School Administrators, Board Members, Teachers and Phys Ed Staff still have not embraced the need to be pro-active about this serious problem, and only "do something" after a child has been traumatized. They pay "lip service" to the anti-bullying programs, while their behavior shows that they actually regard these rules as an annoyance. When you talk to them they mindlessly and insincerely nod their head, then continue to look the other way and do what they've always done, We saw this in particular among some PE Teachers who just tell you they monitor the Locker Room while in truth kids are actually being harassed. While Roxbury is probably little different than other suburban districts as regards the extent of this problem, the passage in 2003 of a new state-wide law on "Bullying", gives parents objective and measurable standards with which to hold School Administrators accountable. Download the file above which is the NJ State Guideline which took effect in September 2003. It is an Adobe .pdf file. Save to your Computer using the Adobe File Menu.

NEW - "Understanding Bullying and Its Impact on Kids With Learning Disabilities" by Dr. Marlene Snyder, Ph.D.
Kids with learning or attention problems can be easy prey for bullies. An expert tells you how to recognize the signs that your child is being bullied. Bullying among elementary school children and teenagers is a growing problem in many schools in the United States. It's happening in urban, suburban, and rural schools. Kids who have learning disabilities (LD) or Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD) are especially vulnerable to bullying problems. http://www.greatschools.net/cgi-bin/showarticle/2692

Jared was a 13 year old Sp Ed student who was bullied in his school, developed depression, then committed suicide. School administrators didn't believe Jared's complaint, or blamed him for his troubles. They are partially guilty of his death by their "business as usual" negligence. Click to read Jared's story and find additional resources
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P.S. The Roxbury School District has a clear choice on how to respond to this website:
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a. Deny there's a problem, instruct the staff on how to respond and have the Attorney advise.
In other words, spin the story & protect yourself instead of protecting the children.
The NJEA Teachers Union aims to protect Teacher reputations, so they deny any problems.
The District seeks to prevent legal liability, so they deny any problems.

b. Since it's a lot of work to find and stop the bullies, Seek to discredit & find fault with the victim,
even if it means distorting the facts. Blaming the victim is a common thread found in those
bullied students who eventually committed suicide.

c. Do the right thing by starting something really effective to stop the bullying.
Individually call in bullies and have them clearly understand that there will be real consequences if they
use profanity and derogatory names to assault other students.
The smart parents of the culprits will thank you, the clueless parents will protest, but just let them know
that the discomfort they're feeling is nothing compared to the pain & humiliation their child
has inflicted on the victim. If they really understand then they might just avoid having
the Roxbury Police come to their door in another 3 years.
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Info for families in Roxbury Township New Jersey Public Schools